My Financial Career by Stephen Leacock
My Financial Career
by Stephen Leacock
When I go into a bank I get rattled. The clerks rattle me; the wickets rattle me; the sight of the money rattles me; everything rattles me.
The moment I cross the threshold of a bank and attempt to transact business there, I become an irresponsible idiot.
I knew this beforehand, but my salary had been raised to fifty dollars a month and I felt that the bank was the only place for it.
So I shambled in and looked timidly round at the clerks. I had an idea that a person about to open an account must consult the manager.
I went up to a wicket marked 'Accountant'. The accountant was a tall, cool devil.
The very sight of him rattled me. My voice was sepulchral.
'Can I see the manager?' I said, and added solemnly, 'alone'. I don't know why I said 'alone',
'Certainly,' said the accountant and fetched him.
The manager was a grave, calm man. I held my fifty-six dollars clutched in a crumpled ball in my pocket.
'Are you the manager?' I said. God knows I didn't doubt it.
'Yes,' he said.
'Can I see you,' I asked, 'alone?' I didn't want to say 'alone' again, but without it the thing seemed self-evident.
The manager looked at me in some alarm. He felt that I had an awful secret to reveal.
'Come in here,' he said and led the way to a private room. He turned the key in the lock.
'We are safe from interruption here,' he said, 'sit down.'
We both sat down and looked at each other. I found no voice to speak. 'You are one of Pinkerton's men, I presume,' he said.
He had gathered from my mysterious manner that I was a detective. I knew what he was thinking and it made me worse.
‘No, not from Pinkerton's,' I said, seeming to imply that I came from a rival agency.
‘To tell the truth,' I went on, as if I had been prompted to lie about it, 'I am not a detective at all.'
'I have come to open an account. I intend to keep all my money in this bank.'
The manager looked relieved but still serious; he concluded now that I was a son of Baron Rothschild' or a young Gould".
A large account, I suppose,' he said.
'Fairly large,' I whispered. 'I propose to deposit fifty-six dollars now and fifty dollars a month regularly.'
The manager got up and opened the door. He called to the accountant.
'Mr Montgomery,' he said, unkindly loud. "This gentleman is opening an account, he will deposit fifty-six dollars. Good morning.'
I rose.
A big iron door stood open at the side of the room.
'Good morning.' I said, and stepped into the safe.
'Come out,' said the manager coldly, and showed me the other way.
I went up to the accountant's wicket and poked the ball of money at him with a quick convulsive movement as if I were doing a conjuring trick.
My face was ghastly pale.
'Here,' I said, 'deposit it.' The tone of the words seemed to mean, ‘Let us do this painful thing while the fit is on us.'
He took the money and gave it to another clerk.
He made me write the sum on a slip and sign my name in a book. I no longer knew what I was doing.
'Is it deposited?' I asked in a hollow, vibrating voice.
'It is,' said the accountant.
"Then I want to draw a cheque.'
My idea was to draw out six dollars of it for present use. Someone gave me a chequebook through a wicket and someone else began telling me how to write it out. The people in the bank had the impression that I was an invalid millionaire. I wrote something on the cheque and thrust it in at the clerk. He looked at it.
'What! Are you drawing it all out again?' he asked in surprise. Then I realized that I had written fifty-six instead of six. I was too far gone to reason now. I had a feeling that it was impossible to explain the thing. All the clerks had stopped writing to look at me.
Reckless with misery, I made a plunge.
'Yes, the whole thing.'
'You withdraw your money from the bank?'
'Every cent of it.'
'Are you not going to deposit any more?' said the clerk, astonished.
'Never.'
An idiot hope struck me that they might think something had insulted me while I was writing the cheque and that I had changed my mind. I made a wretched attempt to look like a man with a fearfully quick temper. The clerk prepared to pay the money.
'How will you have it?' he said.
'What?'
'How will you have it?'
'Oh'-I caught his meaning and answered
without even trying to think- ‘ in fifties.'
He gave me a fifty-dollar bill.
'And the six?' he asked dryly.
'In sixes,' I said.
He gave it to me and I rushed out.
As the big door swung behind me, I caught the echo of a roar of laughter that went up to the ceiling of the bank. Since then I bank no more. I keep money in cash in my trousers pocket and my savings in silver dollars in a sock.
Stephen Leacock
The moment I cross the threshold of a bank and attempt to transact business there, I become an irresponsible idiot.
I knew this beforehand, but my salary had been raised to fifty dollars a month and I felt that the bank was the only place for it.
So I shambled in and looked timidly round at the clerks. I had an idea that a person about to open an account must consult the manager.
I went up to a wicket marked 'Accountant'. The accountant was a tall, cool devil.
The very sight of him rattled me. My voice was sepulchral.
'Can I see the manager?' I said, and added solemnly, 'alone'. I don't know why I said 'alone',
'Certainly,' said the accountant and fetched him.
The manager was a grave, calm man. I held my fifty-six dollars clutched in a crumpled ball in my pocket.
'Are you the manager?' I said. God knows I didn't doubt it.
'Yes,' he said.
'Can I see you,' I asked, 'alone?' I didn't want to say 'alone' again, but without it the thing seemed self-evident.
The manager looked at me in some alarm. He felt that I had an awful secret to reveal.
'Come in here,' he said and led the way to a private room. He turned the key in the lock.
'We are safe from interruption here,' he said, 'sit down.'
We both sat down and looked at each other. I found no voice to speak. 'You are one of Pinkerton's men, I presume,' he said.
He had gathered from my mysterious manner that I was a detective. I knew what he was thinking and it made me worse.
‘No, not from Pinkerton's,' I said, seeming to imply that I came from a rival agency.
‘To tell the truth,' I went on, as if I had been prompted to lie about it, 'I am not a detective at all.'
'I have come to open an account. I intend to keep all my money in this bank.'
The manager looked relieved but still serious; he concluded now that I was a son of Baron Rothschild' or a young Gould".
A large account, I suppose,' he said.
'Fairly large,' I whispered. 'I propose to deposit fifty-six dollars now and fifty dollars a month regularly.'
The manager got up and opened the door. He called to the accountant.
'Mr Montgomery,' he said, unkindly loud. "This gentleman is opening an account, he will deposit fifty-six dollars. Good morning.'
I rose.
A big iron door stood open at the side of the room.
'Good morning.' I said, and stepped into the safe.
'Come out,' said the manager coldly, and showed me the other way.
I went up to the accountant's wicket and poked the ball of money at him with a quick convulsive movement as if I were doing a conjuring trick.
My face was ghastly pale.
'Here,' I said, 'deposit it.' The tone of the words seemed to mean, ‘Let us do this painful thing while the fit is on us.'
He took the money and gave it to another clerk.
He made me write the sum on a slip and sign my name in a book. I no longer knew what I was doing.
'Is it deposited?' I asked in a hollow, vibrating voice.
'It is,' said the accountant.
"Then I want to draw a cheque.'
My idea was to draw out six dollars of it for present use. Someone gave me a chequebook through a wicket and someone else began telling me how to write it out. The people in the bank had the impression that I was an invalid millionaire. I wrote something on the cheque and thrust it in at the clerk. He looked at it.
'What! Are you drawing it all out again?' he asked in surprise. Then I realized that I had written fifty-six instead of six. I was too far gone to reason now. I had a feeling that it was impossible to explain the thing. All the clerks had stopped writing to look at me.
Reckless with misery, I made a plunge.
'Yes, the whole thing.'
'You withdraw your money from the bank?'
'Every cent of it.'
'Are you not going to deposit any more?' said the clerk, astonished.
'Never.'
An idiot hope struck me that they might think something had insulted me while I was writing the cheque and that I had changed my mind. I made a wretched attempt to look like a man with a fearfully quick temper. The clerk prepared to pay the money.
'How will you have it?' he said.
'What?'
'How will you have it?'
'Oh'-I caught his meaning and answered
without even trying to think- ‘ in fifties.'
He gave me a fifty-dollar bill.
'And the six?' he asked dryly.
'In sixes,' I said.
He gave it to me and I rushed out.
As the big door swung behind me, I caught the echo of a roar of laughter that went up to the ceiling of the bank. Since then I bank no more. I keep money in cash in my trousers pocket and my savings in silver dollars in a sock.
Stephen Leacock
Short Questions and Their Answers
1. Why did the narrator go to a bank?
Ans. The narrator went to the bank to open an account because his salary was increased.
2. What did he tell the accountant?
Ans. He told the accountant that he wanted to meet the manager alone.
3. How much did he want to deposit? How much would that amount be in Indian currency?
Ans. Narrator wanted to deposit 56 dollars. It would be four thousand one hundred and forty one rupees in Indian currency.
4. Why did the narrator say that he wanted to meet the manager and why did he add the word ‘alone’?
Ans. The narrator said that he wanted to meet the manager because he thought that a person wishing to open an account must meet the manager. He added ‘alone’ out of whim without any reason.
5. What did the manager suppose the narrator to be when he said that he wanted to meet the manager alone?
Ans. The manager supposed the narrator to be a detective having an awful secret to reveal when he said that he wanted to meet the manager alone.
6. Why did the narrator step into a safe?
Ans. The narrator stepped into the safe because the safe was very big and it was open and he mistook the safe door to be the exit gate.
7. How much did he want to withdraw? What amount did he enter in his cheque.
Ans. The narrator wanted to withdraw six dollars. He wrote fifty- six dollars on the cheque instead of just six dollars.
8. The narrator told the clerk that he wanted to withdraw the money 'in fifties'. Was this a foolish response? If so, why?
Ans. Yes! Because of fear the narrator told the clerk that he wanted to withdraw the money in fifties without even thinking.
9. Where does the narrator keep his money? Is it safer to keep one's money on one's person or in a bank?
Ans. The narrator kept his money in his trousers pocket and his savings in his sock. It is not safe to keep one's money by oneself instead of depositing in the bank.
10. Why do all the bank employees laugh when he leaves the bank?
Ans. When he left the bank, all the employees laughed at his stupid behavior.
Summary of ‘My Financial Career’ by Stephen Leacock
In the essay "My Financial Career" by Stephen Leacock, the narrator describes his comical and anxiety-driven experience when attempting to open a bank account. The narrator feels rattled by the bank environment, intimidated by the clerks, wickets, and the sight of money. Despite his anxiety, he decides to open an account after receiving a raise in his salary. He awkwardly interacts with a bank staff member and says that he wants to meet the manager and whimsically adds the word ‘alone’ and it causes confusion and his secret meeting with the manager is arranged. The manager assumes he is a detective or a wealthy client. Very soon the manager comes to realize the truth when the narrator says that he has to deposit 56 dollars. A clerk is employed to help him. Several clerks do the job and his money is deposited. But he remembers that he has to withdraw six dollars. He demands a cheque but he writes fifty six in place of six and the clerk is surprised and asks whether he would withdraw all his money so soon. His mistake goes beyond reason and he admits that he would take back all the money. He pretends to have become angry due to some unknown reason. He takes money and comes out of the bank but he hears a roar of laughter from the bank staff. Ultimately, the narrator decides to avoid banks and keeps his money as cash in his pocket and silver dollars in a sock. The essay humorously portrays the narrator's exaggerated fear and ineptitude when dealing with financial matters.
Multiple Choice Questions and Answers
1. What is the main source of anxiety for the narrator when entering a bank?
a) The bank's architecture
b) The bank clerks and wickets
c) The manager's stern demeanor
d) The weight of his money
Ans. b) The bank clerks and wickets
2. Why does the narrator decide to open a bank account?
a) He wants to impress the bank staff
b) He received a salary increase
c) He wants to become a detective
d) He plans to invest in the stock market
Ans. b) He received a salary increase
3. How does the narrator describe his behavior inside the bank?
a) Confident and self-assured
b) Calm and collected
c) Responsible and knowledgeable
d) Irresponsible and idiotic
Ans. d) Irresponsible and idiotic
4. What does the narrator mistakenly say to the accountant while trying to meet with the manager?
a) "Can I consult the manager?"
b) "Can I see the manager?"
c) "Can you help me?"
d) "Can you guide me?"
Ans. b) "Can I see the manager?"
5. How does the manager react when the narrator requests to speak with him "alone"?
a) He seems eager and friendly
b) He appears alarmed and curious
c) He becomes suspicious and defensive
d) He ignores the request
Ans. b) He appears alarmed and curious
6. What does the manager initially assume about the narrator?
a) He's a wealthy client
b) He's a detective from Pinkerton's
c) He's a rival agency's agent
d) He's a bank employee
Ans. b) He's a detective from Pinkerton's
7. How does the narrator respond when asked about the size of his account?
a) "Huge, like a tycoon's!"
b) "Fairly large, I suppose."
c) "Small, but growing."
d) "It's none of your business."
Ans. b) "Fairly large, I suppose."
8. What does the narrator accidentally write on the cheque he intends to withdraw six dollars with?
a) Fifty six dollars
b) Twenty dollars
c) Six hundred dollars
d) Five dollars
Ans. a) Fifty six dollars
9. Why do the bank clerks and the manager burst into laughter?
a) They find the narrator's appearance amusing
b) They appreciate his sense of humor
c) They notice his anxiety and mistakes
d) They believe he's a famous comedian
Ans. c) They notice his anxiety and mistakes
10. How does the narrator choose to manage his money after the embarrassing incident at the bank?
a) He invests it in stocks
b) He keeps it in a savings account
c) He carries it as cash in his pocket
d) He entrusts it to a financial advisor
Ans. c) He carries it as cash in his pocket
11. What does the word "rattled" mean in the context of the essay?
a) Calm and composed
b) Confused; nervous
c) Confident and collected
d) Excited and enthusiastic
Ans. b) Confused; nervous
12. In the essay, what does the word "wickets" refer to?
a) A type of gate
b) A small window or enclosure
c) A tall building
d) A bank manager's office
Ans. b) A small window or enclosure
13. How does the narrator "shambled" when entering the bank?
a) Walked confidently
b) Walked gracefully
c) Walked awkwardly
d) Ran swiftly
Ans. c) Walked awkwardly
14. What is the "Pinkertons" agency known for?
a) Managing banks
b) Providing legal services
c) Running a detective agency
d) Operating a restaurant chain
Ans. c) Running a detective agency
15. Who is "Baron Rothschild" mentioned in the essay?
a) A fictional character
b) A famous detective
c) A wealthy banker
d) A government official
Ans. c) A wealthy banker
16. What does the word "sepulchral" suggest about the narrator's voice?
a) Loud and booming
b) Cheerful and lively
c) Ghost-like; eerie
d) Pleasant and soothing
Ans. c) Ghost-like; eerie
17. How does the narrator's attempt to withdraw money from the bank account after making a mistake best be described?
a) Skillful and efficient
b) Confident and assertive
c) Hopeless and feeble
d) Clever and cunning
Ans. c) Hopeless and feeble
18. What is the meaning of the word "conjuring" as used in the essay?
a) Illusionary or magical
b) Logical and rational
c) Artistic and creative
d) Difficult and complicated
Ans. a) Illusionary or magical
19. What does the word "fetch" mean when the accountant fetches the manager?
a) Accompany
b) Retrieve or bring
c) Follow closely
d) Direct and guide
Ans. b) Retrieve or bring
20. How does the manager "prepare" the room for the narrator's meeting?
a) Decorates it with artwork
b) Cleans and organizes it
c) Locks the door
d) Provides refreshments
Ans. c) Locks the door
About Stephen Leacock
Stephen Leacock (1869–1944) was a Canadian writer, humorist, and economist, best known for his witty and satirical writings. He was born on December 30, 1869, in Swanmore, Hampshire, England, and later immigrated to Canada with his family when he was six years old. The Leacock family settled in the town of Orillia, Ontario.
Leacock took his early education in Canada, and he later pursued his studies at the University of Toronto, where he excelled academically. He completed his bachelor's degree with honors and continued his education at the University of Chicago, where he obtained a Ph.D. in political science and economics in 1903.
While Leacock had a successful career as an economist and held positions at various universities, including McGill University in Montreal, he is most celebrated for his humorous and light-hearted writings. His essays, short stories, and novels often satirized various aspects of society, including bureaucracy, education, and human behavior. Leacock had a unique ability to find humor in everyday situations, and his work resonated with readers for its wit and keen observations. His most famous work is "Sunshine Sketches of a Little Town," a collection of humorous stories set in the fictional town of Mariposa.
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