Uncle Podger Hangs a Picture by Jerome K. Jerome

 

Uncle Podger Hangs a Picture

You never saw such a commotion up and down a house, in all your life, as when my Uncle Podger undertook to do a job. A picture would have come home from the frame-maker's, and be standing in the dining-room, waiting to be put up; and Aunt Podger would ask what was to be done with it, and Uncle Podger would say:

"Oh, you leave that to me. Don't you, any of you, worry yourselves about that. I'll do all that."

And then he would take off his coat, and begin. He would send the girl out for sixpenny worth of nails, and then one of the boys after her to tell her what size to get; and, from that, he would gradually work down, and start the whole house.

"Now you go and get me my hammer, Will," he would shout; "and you bring me the rule, Tom; and I shall want the step-ladder, and I had better have a kitchen-chair, too; and, Jim! You run round to Mr. Goggles, and tell him, 'Pa's kind regards, and hopes his leg's better; and will he lend him his spirit-level?' And don't you go, Maria, because I shall want somebody to hold me the light; and when the girl comes back, she must go out again for a bit of picture-cord; and Tom!—where's Tom?—Tom, you come here; I shall want you to hand me up the picture."

And then he would lift up the picture, and drop it, and it would come out of the frame, and he would try to save the glass, and cut himself; and then he would spring round the room, looking for his handkerchief. He could not find his handkerchief, because it was in the pocket of the coat he had taken off, and he did not know where he had put the coat, and all the house had to leave off looking for his tools, and start looking for his coat; while he would dance round and hinder them.

"Doesn't anybody in the whole house know where my coat is? I never came across such a set in all my life—upon my word I didn't. Six of you! —and you can't find a coat that I put down not five minutes ago! Well, of all the—"

Then he'd get up, and find that he had been sitting on it, and would call out:

"Oh, you can give it up! I've found it myself now. Might just as well ask the cat to find anything as expect you people to find it."

And, when half an hour had been spent in tying up his finger, and a new glass had been got, and the tools, and the ladder, and the chair, and the candle had been brought, he would have another go, the whole family, including the girl and the charwoman, standing round in a semi-circle, ready to help. Two people would have to hold the chair, and a third would help him up on it, and hold him there, and a fourth would hand him a nail, and a fifth would pass him up the hammer, and he would take hold of the nail, and drop it.

"There!" he would say, in an injured tone, "now the nail's gone."

And we would all have to go down on our knees and grovel for it, while he would stand on the chair, and grunt, and want to know if he was to be kept there all the evening.

The nail would be found at last, but by that time he would have lost the hammer.

"Where's the hammer? What did I do with the hammer? Great heavens! Seven of you, gaping round there, and you don't know what I did with the hammer!"

We would find the hammer for him, and then he would have lost sight of the mark he had made on the wall, where the nail was to go in, and each of us had to get up on the chair, beside him, and see if we could find it; and we would each discover it in a different place, and he would call us all fools, one after another, and tell us to get down. And he would take the rule, and re-measure, and find that he wanted half thirty-one and three-eighths inches from the corner, and would try to do it in his head, and go mad.

And we would all try to do it in our heads, and all arrive at different results, and sneer at one another. And in the general row, the original number would be forgotten, and Uncle Podger would have to measure it again.

He would use a bit of string this time, and at the critical moment, when the old fool was leaning over the chair at an angle of forty-five, and trying to reach a point three inches beyond what was possible for him to reach, the string would slip, and down he would slide on to the piano, a really fine musical effect being produced by the suddenness with which his head and body struck all the notes at the same time.

And Aunt Maria would say that she would not allow the children to stand round and hear such language.

At last, Uncle Podger would get the spot fixed again, and put the point of the nail on it with his left hand, and take the hammer in his right hand. And, with the first blow, he would smash his thumb, and drop the hammer, with a yell, on somebody's toes.

Aunt Maria would mildly observe that, next time Uncle Podger was going to hammer a nail into the wall, she hoped he'd let her know in time, so that she could make arrangements to go and spend a week with her mother while it was being done.

"Oh! You women, you make such a fuss over everything," Uncle Podger would reply, picking himself up. "Why, I like doing a little job of this sort."

And then he would have another try, and, at the second blow, the nail would go clean through the plaster, and half the hammer after it, and Uncle Podger be precipitated against the wall with force nearly sufficient to flatten his nose.

Then we had to find the rule and the string again, and a new hole was made; and, about midnight, the picture would be up—very crooked and insecure, the wall for yards round looking as if it had been smoothed down with a rake and everybody dead beat and wretched—except Uncle Podger.

"There you are," he would say, stepping heavily off the chair on to the charwoman's corns, and surveying the mess he had made with evident pride. "Why, some people would have had a man in to do a little thing like that!"

From 'Three Men in a Boat', Jerome K. Jerome

Summary of the Story Uncle Podger Hangs a Picture

"Uncle Podger Hangs a Picture" is a humorous short story written by Jerome K. Jerome. The story revolves around Uncle Podger's attempts to hang a picture on the wall of his living room. The task seems to be simple, but Uncle Podger makes a big fuss about it, seeking help from everyone in the household.

He takes off his coat and begins his work. He sends the girl to buy nails and a boy after her to tell her what size. Then he orders to bring him hammer, ruler, stepladder, kitchen chair and spirit level from Mr. Goggles. He assigns Maria to bring picture-cord and then show the candle and assigns Tom to hand him picture but at the very moment the picture falls. Uncle Podger tries to catch it but the glass comes out from the picture and cuts his hand and then the glass is smashed upon the floor. He shouts at children to give him his handkerchief but it is not found because it was in the pocket of his coat on which he was sitting.

The new glass is brought but this time, he was unable to see the mark he had made. In an attempt to make measurement, he falls upon the piano.

Uncle Podger involves everyone in the task, including his wife, his son, his daughter, and even the charwoman. Each of them tries to help him in their own way, but their efforts end up making the task more complicated. Uncle Podger himself becomes increasingly frantic, running around and giving orders to everyone.

Eventually, the picture is hung on the wall, but not without some hilarious mishaps. It was still crooked and lopsided. Uncle Podger declares that he did it all himself, taking credit for the contributions of everyone else.

The story is a humorous portrayal of the human tendency to make a simple task more complicated than it needs to be. It also highlights the importance of teamwork and communication, as Uncle Podger's lack of these qualities causes chaos and confusion. The story has a lighthearted tone and is a good example of Jerome K. Jerome's comedic writing style.

Multiple Choice Questions:-

1. Why does Uncle Podger insist on hanging the picture himself?

A. He doesn't trust anyone else to do it right

B. He enjoys the challenge

C. He doesn't want to pay a professional

D. He thinks it will impress his guests

Answer: A. He doesn't trust anyone else to do it right

2. What happens when the picture falls?

A. The picture comes out of the frame.

B. Uncle podger tries to save the glass by catching it.

C. Uncle Podger cuts his finger.

D. All the above A, B, and C

Answer: D. All the above A, B, and C

3. Why did Uncle Podger not find his handkerchief when his finger was cut?

A. The handkerchief was with Aunt Podger.

B. The handkerchief was in the pocket of his coat.

C. He was sitting on the coat.

D. B and C both.

Answer: D. B and C both.

4. How many people were helping Uncle Podger to hang the picture?

A. Seven

B. Six

C. Five

D. Four

Answer: A. Seven

5. What is Uncle Podger's occupation?

A. He is a painter

B. He is a decorator

C. He is a builder

Answer: D. It is not specified in the story

6. Where did Uncle Podger fall while he was leaning to measure the mark to hang the picture?

A. He fell upon the bed.

B. He fell upon the piano.

C. He fell upon the nails.

D. He fell upon the hammer.

Answer: B. He fell upon the piano

7. What is the main conflict of the story?

A. The picture won't hang straight

B. The picture is too heavy for the wall

C. Uncle Podger won't let anyone else help him

D. The picture falls off the wall

Answer: C. Uncle Podger won't let anyone else help him

8. What is the moral of the story?

A. Pride goes before a fall

B. Money can't buy happiness

C. You can't always do everything yourself

D. Practice makes perfect

Answer: C. You can't always do everything yourself

9. What is the tone of the story?

A. Serious

B. Humorous

C. Sarcastic

D. Angry

Answer: B. Humorous

10. What does the picture look like when it is finally hung?

A. Crooked and lopsided

B. Perfectly straight and level

C. Upside down

D. It is not described in the story.

Answer: A. Crooked and lopsided

Short Questions and Answers 

1. Who is Uncle Podger? 

Answer: Uncle Podger is a character in the short story "Three Men in a Boat" by Jerome K. Jerome. He is famous for his ability to create chaos while attempting to complete even the simplest tasks.

2. What is Uncle Podger's task in the story? 

Answer: Uncle Podger's task in the story is to hang a picture on the wall.

3. What is Uncle Podger's attitude towards the task of hanging the picture? 

Answer: Uncle Podger is very confident and boastful about his ability to hang a picture. He believes it is a simple task and makes it seem like anyone could do it.

4. What happens when Uncle Podger tries to hang the picture? 

Answer: Uncle Podger's attempts to hang the picture end up being very chaotic and frustrating. He keeps forgetting important tools, misplacing items, and making mistakes.

5. Who helps Uncle Podger hang the picture? 

Answer: Uncle Podger's family members, including his wife, sons, daughters and charwoman, a total of seven people help him hang the picture.

6. What is the theme of the story? 

Answer: The theme of the story is the folly of overconfidence. Uncle Podger is overly confident in his ability to hang a picture, and his arrogance leads to chaos and frustration.

7. What is the significance of the picture Uncle Podger is hanging? 

Answer: The picture Uncle Podger is hanging is not very significant to the story. What picture it is, is not mentioned in the story.

8. What is Uncle Podger's reaction when the picture is finally hung? 

Answer: Uncle Podger is very pleased with himself when the picture is finally hung. He boasts about his achievement and takes credit for the hard work of his family members.

9. How do Uncle Podger's family members feel about the experience of helping him hang the picture? 

Answer: Uncle Podger's family members feel frustrated and annoyed with the experience of helping him hang the picture. They find his overconfidence and lack of organization to be very irritating.

10. What is the tone of the story? 

Answer: The tone of the story is humorous and satirical. The author is poking fun at Uncle Podger's overconfidence and the chaos that ensues when he tries to hang a picture.

About the author Jerome Klapka Jerome

Jerome K. Jerome was a renowned English writer, playwright, and humorist who lived from 1859 to 1927. He was born in Walsall, Staffordshire, England, and spent his childhood in poverty after his father died when he was just a toddler. Despite these challenges, Jerome became an accomplished author, best known for his humorous novels and plays.

Jerome began his career in literature as a journalist and editor for various newspapers, including The Idler and The Speaker. He gained widespread popularity for his comic novel "Three Men in a Boat (To Say Nothing of the Dog)," published in 1889. The book, based on Jerome's own boating experiences on the Thames, was a huge success and has since become a classic of English literature.

Jerome went on to write many more novels, plays, and essays, including "Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow" and "Three Men on the Bummel." His writing style was characterized by its wit, satire, and observations on everyday life. Today, Jerome is considered one of the great humorists of the Victorian era, and his works continue to be enjoyed by readers around the world.